Perception of suffering
The moment you perceive suffering of any kind, whether in yourself or someone else, blame and attack1 etc will be quick to follow.
Perception of suffering affirms the reality of the body, and denies the reality of the mind and its ability to choose a different adviser and consequently a different experience. Seeing your brother as a victim of circumstance instead of a decider, traps him where you see him.
Of course, if your brother has chosen wrongly and dreams of suffering, reacting to his choice by telling him so, is unlikely to be kind and only serves to reveal your own mistaken choice.
References for Course students
T-16.I (True Empathy)
if not on others or ‘the situation’, then upon yourself ↩