Forgive My Blog

No reply, bye

Miracle Network (UK)

Receiving no response to my email to the miracle network and wondering if my emails had gotten through, I followed up with a phonecall. Here is a summary of that phonecall:

Teresa confirmed that she’d read my emails, That they had a lot going on at the moment. She said they’d decided not to do anything about my proposal. I said it would have been nice to get a reply to say so. She apologised but stopped short of giving any reasons, saying that she didn’t want to defend - something I can well understand.

The Miracle Network do not offer services that suit me, and every effort I’ve made to offer services through them has been blocked or ‘made to look professional’. I think my mistake was believing that they are offering a valuable service. I engaged with them because I saw them as a strategic ally. A special love relationship. When I celebrate all my memories and thoughts of them, the specialness is undone and I see that they offer nothing of value.

They serve those who do not understand. The Bliss Ninny Network would be a more accurate name for them.

It gets better. They are a charity registered in the UK. Here is their entry:

THE MIRACLE NETWORK

Activities

TO PROMOTE THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION

Charitable objects

THE OBJECT OF THE TRUST IS TO ADVANCE THE CHRISTIAN RELIGION.

So stunned by this, it took me a moment to process. No mention of A Course in Miracles at all. Actually this makes a lot of sense. They behave exactly like those bound by the rules of Christianity.

All this is great news. I don’t need to engage with them anymore. I don’t need to check their website to see what’s on. How wonderfully freeing.

Mark & Priscilla

In response to this wonderful conversation1 between Mark and Priscilla, I found myself live commenting in an email to them:

Oh my god this is so good, this is what I want. I want to be part of this. I want a group chat with both of you please. We could do it on zoom.

I don’t have contact info for Priscilla.

That thing Priscilla said about openly bitching she gossiping about ACIM teachers. I want in.

I’m only 7 minutes in.

The timing is interesting too. I’ve been working through my relationship to the Miracle Network, which isn’t run by Ian Patrick but is exactly the same.

I pitched this idea to them
They decided not to advertise it, but didn’t tell me so. So I only found out when I followed up with a phone call a week later.

I think the error to correct is my belief that they offer a valuable service.

I wonder if we are all converging on the same idea. A conversation between students who get it (as opposed to listening to teacher’s who don’t).

9 minutes. This is golden.

13 mins “I’m shitting on myself right now” hahahaha I love you Priscilla.

You two are who I want to be talking to. I want to grow with you.

I want Priscilla’s contact details. She’s cool.

39 minutes “when it’s good cocaine you know it” fantastic.

41 mins yeah you’re describing exactly what I want.

Omg i love Ken’s stutter too! It’s so perfect.

52 mins I’d disagree with you both about there being some things you never heal from. There are some lessons that are especially tough for us though and that we take a long time to forgive. It sounds like you haven’t forgiven. There are some tough things I haven’t finished forgiving too.

Healing (on the level of the mind, not the body or brain) is certain. No exceptions. To say that there are some wounds that cannot be healed, is to deny the Holy Spirit and the power of your mind to make a different choice.

That’s not to say that it’s unhelpful to give yourself plenty of time to grieve and be extremely gentle with yourself.

1:02 mins
talking about performance anxiety. I have that. Now not sure how wholesome my wish to join in is. Maybe just my own trauma pushing me.

1:06 mins it’s funny listening to ACIM students who know that everything is for forgiveness, airing their grievances.

Maybe I’d be too much for you. I tend to air my grievances ABOUT THOSE I’M CURRENTLY SPEAKING TO. I’m a monster. I would gossip and bitch about you in front of you.

Thanks for everything arseholes,

Freyr

No reply from either of them. I see again that I have not celebrated. I special-love Mark and Priscilla. That’s why I got so excited and wanted to reach out to them, when it would have been saner to descretely forgive and to celebrate.

Jules suggests that the reason they didn’t reply might have something to do with me signing off with “Thanks for everything arseholes”. She says neurotypicals get offended by things like that.

I stand by it. It was a great signoff. It was parting words. It puts special love to the sword. If that’s what put them off, then I’m glad. I’m just like “okay, bye”.

I see the remnants of my special relationship with them. I don’t need that anymore. I can unsubscribe from their channels, they have nothing more to offer me.

Mmm there’s more: I think Mark and Priscilla and the Miracle Network are two sides of the same coin. The Miracle Network don’t like to talk about the ego, they only talk about ‘nice’ things. Mark and Priscilla talk about the shit, but not in a way that actually undoes the shit.

So it makes total sense that they would both fail to reply to me.

If Mark and Priscilla read this and see my likening them to the bliss ninnies of the Miracle Network, I delight in imagining them livid. I have faith in them to complete their assigned lessons, just as I trust the Miracle Network folks to complete theirs.

The general lesson for me is one often repeated: it’s always better when they come to me. When I reach out to others, meeting them on their terms, I lose.


This “okay, bye” attitude feels like a theme at the moment. I’m shedding commitments. Unsubscribing from things I realise I’m not interested in anymore.

  1. Also on Mark’s channel: The Right Ladder