Forgive My Blog

More ramble about Zen

So far everyone I’ve asked seems to love that post from the other day. So I’ll ramble some more on this topic.

Context: I’m still recovering from yesterday’s PTSD flashback which was quite interesting but also exhausting and I’m now not very functional, have spent most of the day wrapped in my duvet and have now returned (dragging the duvet) to bed which feels familiar and safe.

  • Zen1 is more important2 than having friends. You cannot control whether anyone is your friend. When you think you are able to ‘make’ friends, you are manipulating others, deceiving them about yourself in order to get something, and yet you worry, deep inside that if they saw your true thoughts and motivations, they would desert you. What meaning does such a ‘friendship’ have. Yet there are those that see you and love you as you are, and not for the face you present to the world. They love you for something you could not have contrived and cannot get rid of. These are real friends, and any efforts to gain them are wasted. There’s nothing you can do. The only choice you really have is between truth and illusion.
  • Zen is more important than performing kind actions or saying kind words; it is the source of kindness itself.

  • Zen is more important than bodily survival3.

One day I will say4 that zen is the only thing that is important, but that’s not the stage I’m at.

The stage I’m at is getting excited because I learned how to use footnotes and now feel the need to use them everywhere. I’m like a child.

meta comment

I started out with a point I was going to make but then forgot it after about the second tangent from a tangent.

  1. its literal meaning is ‘meditation’ but my use of it here could be substituted for ‘truth’ (Quakers, ACIM) or ‘the good’ (Greek philosophy) or ‘the way’ (Taoism) 

  2. to me. But also to anyone who discovers the truth, and there have been many, and they all say the same thing 

  3. that’s not to say bodily survival isn’t important. It’s very important to me. I avoid getting in cars unless strictly necessary. Same goes for all these other things; it’s just that they all seem inconsequential in comparison to zen 

  4. or not say, because all the imagined reasons I might previously have had for saying such things would be undone