Forgive My Blog

Freyr's Classroom (Minecraft Server)

Latest version of Minecraft server post here

Freyr’s Classroom is a virtual environment for me to learn spiritual, social and practical lessons that would be more stressful for me to learn in the ‘real world’1.

The form this virtual environment takes is the computer game Minecraft, because:

  • it’s familiar to me2
  • like life3, it has no predefined goal - it is what you make of it
  • basic survival is extremely easy (it’s a game aimed at children after all) so it’s low-stress, yet there’s tremendous scope for going beyond basic survival
  • like life, the creative possibilities are so vast that I’ve never run out of things to do
  • like life, everything4 is destructible - if I want to dig a hole in the ground, or demolish an entire mountain, I can

My current lesson

My current lesson is: playing alone in a world full of the wonderous creations of players I loved but who are all gone. It’s like post-apocalypse; I’m the last human.

Do I treat the entire world like it’s mine - looting everyone’s5 bases? I think so, but it feels weird.

And what is even the point of building anything if there are no other players to appreciate it? I also have this attitude in life - when I discover something wonderful I always want to share it with someone, as if I myself am insufficient to appreciate it. I am slowly learning to enjoy things without trying to get someone else to enjoy them for me.

The emotional devastation associated with all the broken friendships hits me almost as soon as I log in (especially since my home was built by one of those friends). The first time I really looked at this lesson, I screamed.

I have a vague fantasy in which other people join my classroom in order to learn. But I find it hard to clearly picture as I’ve never seen anything like it before. I’ve never seen the intersection of people who play minecraft and people who see the universe as a classroom for forgiveness lessons.

The people I’ve played with in the past are autistic/transgender people like me, and they are no more likely to be enthusiastic about undoing their ego than the average person. They just want to play Minecraft. They see the interpersonal issues (that inevitably arise when people get emotionally close) as a reason to leave the server, rather than seeing it as the learning opportunity they were waiting for.

Update 2018-10-28
After the above post prompted some forgiveness, and some other shifts discussed in subsequent blog posts, I feel like maybe I don’t need Minecraft anymore. It’s in the past.

I’ve now ‘mothballed’ the game server - backed it up and shut it down.

Update 2018-11-02
I tried playing on a fresh world.

I don’t want to administrate a Minecraft server. I don’t seem to be able to do so while resting.

I want someone else to run a Minecraft server within the context of my culture.

  1. What we think of as the ‘real world’ isn’t real either, but it feels real and we tend to take it more seriously than a game 

  2. I started playing in beta when the game was much simpler 

  3. as ACIM would say, there is no hierarchy of illusions, so achievements in minecraft are no less valuable than in so called ‘real life’ 

  4. except bedrock, but you don’t usually encounter bedrock, also end portal frames 

  5. except those who I think might return