Forgive My Blog

Forgiveness vs Keeping Boundaries

/u/redworld29 asks:

This is a question I think about a lot. Forgiveness as taught in the Course makes sense to me. However, there are many toxic people I’ve encountered both in personal and professional life, and I find it necessary for my own peace of mind to cut them off…

There are also people I know who seem to have borderline personality disorder and other mental health problems and its almost impossible for me to stay joyful in their presence. “As you see him, you will see yourself” how does that apply in such cases?


Freyr replies:

Forgiveness has nothing to do with behaviour. You can withdraw from a person or situation without mentally condemning them/it. For example I’ve blocked many people in this sub. That doesn’t mean I think ill of them. They just aren’t people whose words I’m interested in.

You can walk away from people without labelling them “toxic”. It’s not about them. You don’t know what’s going on in their Atonement path and it isn’t any of your business. They could be fully enlightened and just helping you along your way (you can never know). It doesn’t matter. It’s not about them, it’s about you and what you want.

I find, interestingly, that losing interest in a person or situation is often a sign that I’ve forgiven them. And then I just don’t really think of them anymore.

Give yourself permission to walk away from any person or situation that does not serve your goal of perfect happiness (that God wills for you).