Unfinished: Absurd notions

A new approach to the last 4 boundaries.

I won’t be able to take you seriously/take you at your word if you:

  • blame your (or anyone else’s) thoughts, feelings or actions on me;
  • speak on behalf of society or any individual or group who hasn’t/haven’t asked you to speak to me on their behalf;
  • attempt to coerce or persuade me, especially by asserting a categorical imperative or by appeal to normality;
  • express an opinion about any aspect of my identity or lived experience.

Refrain from these if you:

  • wish to avoid being laughed at/mercilessly ridiculed.
  • want a reply
  • don’t want to look absurd in my eyes
  • want me to process what you’re saying as anything other than the ravings of an insane person, or the tantrum of a screaming infant
  • want me to contain my laughter

Saying these things is like if you told me that you control the ocean; that it’s really you who makes the tide go in and out, and not the moon. Moreover you expect me to stop the moon from orbiting the earth because it’s ‘messing up your flow’.

I may have been hiding my surety/faith/self-knowledge/mirth/lack of guilt behind possibly unnecessary boundaries. This is a more vulnerable1 position. I’ve been taking people seriously.

Every time someone does one of these 4 things, it can only be a joke. And (perhaps because autism) I have been taking these jokes literally and seriously for years. I need to see them as a jokes and laugh at them instead of trying to process them.

meta comment

  • Alternative solution: keep them in boundaries but offer an opt out: “unless you want to be laughed at”
  • need to reconcile and make consistent across both posts: “if you want me to agree not to not laugh at you, then you need to agree to these extra boundaries” vs “if you do these things I will laugh at you”
  • reframe around the “jokes” angle? “Here are 4 jokes”.
  1. vulnerable in this context = good 

Forgive, and you will see this differently.