Forgive My Blog

40 minutes with Freyr

For the last few weeks I’ve been joining a telephone conference study group run by Dan Strodl. They all call in for an hour every sunday morning, take turns to read a passage of the Course, and then take turns to share their thoughts on it, or on whatever issues came up for them in the week. After each sharing, Dan says something like “thank you for sharing, who here would like to share?”. Often there’s immediately someone ready to share, who seems to have been waiting. Sometimes there’s a period of silence until someone takes the floor.

It is lovely. Sometimes what comes up evokes my cosmic laughter which some express appreciation for, and I often feel lifted and inspired for a long time afterwards.

After the last one in which we discussed I Need Do Nothing1, I found myself phoning Dan and saying:

That little group is great; I want more. And slower (you Londoners all seem to go so fast). I want more space for sharing, more space for silence, more space to laugh. I could have carried on laughing hysterically for another 5 minutes but I’m aware of time constraints and don’t want to take up space. I want more time. I’m asking you because I don’t want to be responsible for anything.

He said I can give myself space by pressing mute. And other things that amount to “no, I’m not going to change anything or create anything new to meet the need you express”. I think he also didn’t understand what I meant by “space”, just as his predecessor (within the Miracle Network) Ian Patrick did not understand what I meant by “teach”. They must be bred from the same stock.
However, he also told me about how because of the pandemic, there would be many more activities over Zoom. And he sung Zoom’s praises, convincing me to look into it. I was skeptical about whether it would run on Linux. He didn’t know what Linux is. Oh, he’s that kind of dinosaur. He said “it runs on everything”.

And he was right, there’s even a .deb package! I don’t have a webcam though. I’ll have to use my phone.

Words came, with which I could not argue, so I took notes. Then I emailed Dan/Miracle Network:

I offer the space I asked you for:

40 minutes with Freyr

  • A space for sharing, silence, laughter and tears.
  • For UK students of Kenneth Wapnick
  • Every day at 10am
  • Zoom Meeting ID: 687-431-1567

The Holy Spirit is in charge. I do not know what will happen.

It would have been “An hour with Freyr” but the free version of Zoom limits conferences to 40 minutes.

I’ve had many attack thoughts about the people who might join such a group. And run through various scripted responses. E.g. the one who joins and is like

So, what lesson are we doing?

To which I wittily retort:

This is not a study group. This is a space for egos to fall apart.

If no one shows up, I get 40 minutes of deep rest2.

Update: no one showed up. I forgot I find that kind of uncertainty stressful. So I’ll wait to see if there’s demand for such a group.

  1. T-18.VII (a section of the Text that had aleady touched me deeply) 

  2. One of the multitude of articles I have not written.